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Literature Text
Is my heart ugly, is that why you won't listen?
You write false words to me, tricking my weak ugly heart.
You say that your words are not a joke.
Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
Delicate flesh plucked from my weak heart.
My bleeding shows well through my eyes.
I shall shut this window to the soul, and shut you out as well.
No longer may you deceive, for I shall raise the bridge.
I will cut all our connections, and untie our ties.
I shall speak no more word to you.
My absence shall not be cruel.
For you have been the one plucking feathers,
From my ugly weak heart.
I'm in the middle of my heart being smashed, it explains.
© 2013 - 2024 violet---stone
Comments5
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This is bitterly scornful, and poetically beautiful. I could feel the pain as I read each line. Let me begin with some praise (which comes oh so easily when I read something as nice as this!). Without a doubt this holds intense emotion:
"No longer may you deceive, for I shall raise the bridge.
I will cut all our connections, and untie our ties."
My favorite line ^. I feel there tends to be a slight case of repetition, the goal seems to be genuine yet the execution seems a little confusing at the beginning. I'd have to say weak and ugly are the most used. Don't get me wrong, I understand where the innocent repetition enhances the effect that a poem emanates, but I don't feel it as strongly in this piece.
"Is my heart ugly, is that why you won't listen?
You write false words to me, tricking my weak ugly heart."
---
"Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
Delicate flesh plucked from my weak ugly heart."
---
"For you have been the one plucking feathers,
From my ugly weak heart."
You say that words not a joke.
Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
This line confused me, the wording seems to be a bit off or maybe I'm just reading it wrong. I kept trying to mentally reword the lines but I couldn't think of anything useful.
As a whole, the poems structure seems to be intimidating (even though it is a short poem). If you broke it up by ideas, it wouldn't be so daunting. This might be an idea:
Is my heart ugly, is that why you won't listen?
You write false words to me, tricking my weak ugly heart.
You say that words not a joke.
Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
Delicate flesh plucked from my weak ugly heart.
My bleeding shows well through my eyes.
I shall shut this window to the soul, and shut you out as well.
No longer may you deceive, for I shall raise the bridge.
I will cut all our connections, and untie our ties.
I shall speak no more word to you.
My absence shall not be cruel.
For you have been the one plucking feathers,
From my ugly weak heart.
I loved reading this poem and I look forward to reading more of your works! Please, keep writing wonderful words!
"No longer may you deceive, for I shall raise the bridge.
I will cut all our connections, and untie our ties."
My favorite line ^. I feel there tends to be a slight case of repetition, the goal seems to be genuine yet the execution seems a little confusing at the beginning. I'd have to say weak and ugly are the most used. Don't get me wrong, I understand where the innocent repetition enhances the effect that a poem emanates, but I don't feel it as strongly in this piece.
"Is my heart ugly, is that why you won't listen?
You write false words to me, tricking my weak ugly heart."
---
"Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
Delicate flesh plucked from my weak ugly heart."
---
"For you have been the one plucking feathers,
From my ugly weak heart."
You say that words not a joke.
Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
This line confused me, the wording seems to be a bit off or maybe I'm just reading it wrong. I kept trying to mentally reword the lines but I couldn't think of anything useful.
As a whole, the poems structure seems to be intimidating (even though it is a short poem). If you broke it up by ideas, it wouldn't be so daunting. This might be an idea:
Is my heart ugly, is that why you won't listen?
You write false words to me, tricking my weak ugly heart.
You say that words not a joke.
Yet you continue the same tear jerking pattern.
Delicate flesh plucked from my weak ugly heart.
My bleeding shows well through my eyes.
I shall shut this window to the soul, and shut you out as well.
No longer may you deceive, for I shall raise the bridge.
I will cut all our connections, and untie our ties.
I shall speak no more word to you.
My absence shall not be cruel.
For you have been the one plucking feathers,
From my ugly weak heart.
I loved reading this poem and I look forward to reading more of your works! Please, keep writing wonderful words!